The Agony

My Dear Best Friend,

Relationship persists of promises made long ago, in the sacred spaces of our heart. We both unknowingly but li’l bit willingly let our hearts blend into the craziness of FRIENDSHIP. We made our treasured memories, all the good times, every single time we made each other laugh, cried with each other, every time we called each other “BEST FRIEND”. We did everything together best friends do. 

Everything seemed perfect, I reckoned you. It feels good when your friend loves you, the way he says your nickname. We started as a really cool bicycle, were happy and contented until all of a sudden you found a glittery wheel. I tried riding that tricycle for you and was happy for you. But now, I kinda feel left out.

It kills me deep inside how we are drifting apart. Every single day, our relation is deteriorating. I’m not blaming your glittery wheel for all this but whenever I plan to go out with you all, I do it dreaming to spend time with you, my best friend. Unfortunately, the scenario is always different. And I hate it. I hate when you sideline me, you behave as if I don’t exist at that moment. It feels as if you don’t want me anymore in your life. There is no difference for me in watching a movie with all my 'committed' friends and watching a movie alone.

I know you are happy. And I don’t blame the glittery wheel for any of this. I know you might still be preparing for forever. But, can we spend some time, just us, before ‘forever’ begins and I’m eradicated from your life permanently?

What’s worst of all is now I know it will someday happen to me. It makes me sad. Because if you ever understood me, you’ll know that I’m nothing but insanely loyal to our friendship. I don’t wanna loose my friends, not you.

All this stuff that has aroused between us kinda discourages more. I used to know what’s going in your life, what made you laugh, what’s making you sad. Now, you are becoming a blank sheet of paper, a stranger. I’m afraid I don’t know you anymore.

J.K.Rowling said, “indifferent and neglect often do more damage than outright dislike.”I want you to understand this and say it, end it for forever if you like. I don’t wanna get hurt more, I’m tired. I don’t want to hurt you, it’s just that in-person these feelings cannot be expressed by me, and you know it.

The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained. I read it somewhere and deliberately wish the goodbye never happens.

P.S: Hope you have an encounter with my blog someday. Because you ever opened it, I know. I never want to hurt you. But a small part of me really wants u to regret what u r unintentionally, unknowingly doing to me. Take Care.